SPEAK UP

Communication That Connects and Convinces

A steamHouse Commons Book

Draft Version 1.0 | February 2026

BOOK SUMMARY

Speak Up: Communication That Connects and Convinces is the fifth book in the steamHouse Commons series. It treats communication not as a personality trait but as a learnable skill — one that determines the quality of every relationship, team, and community a young person will ever be part of.

The book opens by exposing the communication illusion: the gap between what we think we said and what others actually heard. It introduces Charles Duhigg's Three Conversations model as a diagnostic lens, then builds outward through practical skill development. Readers learn active listening and room-reading before moving to speaking skills: emotional self-awareness, Nonviolent Communication, navigating difficult conversations, and setting boundaries. The final sections address public communication — speaking to groups, managing digital channels — and culminate in civic voice, connecting personal communication skill to democratic participation.

Eight development markers from the steamHouse framework are woven throughout, with three receiving full chapter-length treatment (L18 Conversation Types, K11 Active Listening, K13 Nonviolent Communication). The steamHouse Authorship Framework runs as a connecting thread: every conversation is a scene in your story, and communication skill determines whether you're writing it on purpose.

Word count: ~19,300 (Draft 1.0 — target ~42,000 for publication)

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Front Matter

  • Summary

  • Table of Contents

  • Dedication

  • About This Book

Part I: Why Communication Is Hard

  • Chapter 1: The Communication Illusion

    • The Gap

    • Why We Don't Notice the Gap

    • Communication Is a Skill, Not a Personality Trait

    • What Skill Looks Like

    • The Good News

    • Your Authorship Moment

  • Chapter 2: The Three Conversations (L18 Full Treatment)

    • Charles Duhigg's Insight

    • The Matching Principle

    • The Classic Mismatch

    • How to Identify Which Conversation You're In

    • The Stone, Patton, and Heen Model

    • The Lens for Your Red Toolbox

    • The Authorship Connection

Part II: Listening Skills

  • Chapter 3: Active Listening — The Foundation (K11 Full Treatment)

    • The Listening Illusion

    • The Four Levels of Listening

    • The Habits That Kill Listening

    • What Active Listening Actually Looks Like

    • The Looping Technique

    • Listening When You Disagree

    • Active Listening as a Key

    • The Authorship Frame

  • Chapter 4: Reading the Room (S4 Application)

    • What Bodies Say

    • Emotional Undercurrents

    • Who's Talking, Who's Not

    • Cultural Context

    • Adjusting to Your Audience

    • Emotion Recognition (Others) as a Star

Part III: Speaking Skills

  • Chapter 5: Knowing What You Want to Say (S3 Application)

    • Clarity of Thought Precedes Clarity of Speech

    • Know What You Feel

    • Know What You Need

    • The Pause

    • When NOT to Speak

    • Emotion Recognition (Self) as a Star

  • Chapter 6: Expressing Needs Without Attack — Nonviolent Communication (K13 Full Treatment)

    • The Problem with How We Normally Talk

    • The Four Components of NVC

    • Putting It Together

    • When NVC Feels Weird

    • When NVC Doesn't Fit

    • Nonviolent Communication as a Key

  • Chapter 7: Difficult Conversations (K14 Supporting)

    • Why We Avoid Them

    • Preparation: Before You Open Your Mouth

    • Starting the Conversation

    • During the Conversation

    • When to Push Through, When to Stop

    • The Question-Asking Connection

  • Chapter 8: Saying No — Boundaries in Communication (K4 Supporting)

    • Why Saying No Is Hard

    • Clear Is Kind; Unclear Is Unkind

    • How to Say No Without Over-Explaining

    • When Others Don't Accept Your No

    • Boundary Setting as a Key

    • The Authorship Connection

Part IV: Public Communication

  • Chapter 9: Speaking to Groups

    • Why Public Speaking Terrifies Us

    • Preparation: The Anxiety Antidote

    • Managing Nerves: Three Strategies

    • Reading the Room While Speaking

    • Finding Your Voice

    • This Isn't Just About Podiums

  • Chapter 10: Digital Communication

    • What's Missing

    • The Permanence Problem

    • Different Platforms, Different Rules

    • When to Take It Offline

    • Managing Conflict Digitally

    • Your Digital Communication Reputation

Part V: Speaking Up

  • Chapter 11: Finding Your Voice in Groups

    • The Dynamics That Silence People

    • Why Your Voice Matters Anyway

    • Building Confidence to Contribute

    • Amplifying Others' Voices

    • The Responsibility That Comes with Voice

  • Chapter 12: Civic Voice — Speaking in Public Contexts (K19 Introduction)

    • Why Civic Communication Matters

    • Speaking to Power

    • Public Testimony and Advocacy

    • Building Coalitions

    • Civic Action Capacity as a Key

    • The Authorship Frame

Closing

  • Your Communication Practice

    • What You Now Know

    • Where to Start

    • Building a Feedback Loop

    • Continuous Improvement

    • Your Story, Your Voice

Back Matter

  • Appendix A: NVC Quick Reference

  • Appendix B: Difficult Conversation Preparation Template

  • Appendix C: Speaking Checklist

  • Appendix D: Development Markers in This Book

  • Recommended Reading